


Never Again

by poughkeepsie (YokubouNoRain)



Series: SPN Kink Bingo 2020 [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Dean Winchester/Sam Winchester First Kiss, Dean Winchester/Sam Winchester First Time Having Sex, Declarations Of Love, First Kiss, First Time, M/M, Masturbation, Pre-Stanford Era (Supernatural), Sam Winchester Leaves for Stanford, Spoilers for Comic Supernatural: Beginning’s End, Supernatural Kink Bingo 2020, Teasing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-02
Updated: 2020-02-02
Packaged: 2021-02-27 20:00:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,495
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22531357
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YokubouNoRain/pseuds/poughkeepsie
Summary: Sam can't be around Dean anymore. He doesn't hate him, it's actually quite the opposite. When he has the perfect excuse to leave his family and start a normal life, Dean tells him that he won't let Sam go, but with those words, Sam's decision become stronger than ever.Created for@SPN Kink Bingo.Squared Filled:Wincest.
Relationships: Dean Winchester/Sam Winchester
Series: SPN Kink Bingo 2020 [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1718713
Kudos: 76
Collections: SPN Kink Bingo 2020





	Never Again

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [Never Again](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22530949) by [poughkeepsie (YokubouNoRain)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/YokubouNoRain/pseuds/poughkeepsie). 



> The characters of this story are from Eric Kripke and I use the portrayals of Jared Padalecki, Jeffrey Dean Morgan and Jensen Ackles for this story.
> 
> Neither the actors or the TV show belongs to me but the story does.
> 
> * * *
> 
> This is the first Bingo I join, so I'm very excited!  
> I'll mention each one of the amazing persons who beta'ed each oneshot on the notes, I hope you can check their works too :) This time, I had the pleasure to be beta’ed by [@67-chevy-baby](https://67-chevy-baby.tumblr.com). Thank you so much, darling. 
> 
> If you're prefer to read this story in Spanish (which is my mother language so this is a real challenge for me), that version of this serie is available [here](https://archiveofourown.org/series/1621081). 
> 
> This oneshot contains spoilers from the comic spin-off, [Supernatural: Beginning's End](https://readcomiconline.to/Comic/Supernatural-Beginning-s-End/Issue-1) but you better check [Supernatural Wiki](http://www.supernaturalwiki.com/Category:Comics) because you really should read a few comics beforehand. This oneshot is set just before Sam went to Stanford, year 2001. Following the birthday dates of the boys, Dean is 22 and Sam is 18. 
> 
> I'll tag EVERYTHING I can as long as the tag doesn't spoil the story, but I'll warn you in the tags and the notes ;) 
> 
> I'll try that every oneshot has the title of a song. This time, the song is [Never Again](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Xd-lVIt_0Q) by Yugo Kanno and Karen Aoki from the Japanese drama, _Hirugao: heijitsu gogo 3 ji no koibito tachi_ , which has a movie that I didn't know of its existence and I'm gonna proceed to search rn.

Since he was a kid, Sam had a thing for Dean when he was dirty. He especially liked it when Dean had his t-shirt tattered and the blood from some creature was dripping from his chin. Sam found that particularly arousing. 

* * *

When he hit adolescence, he realized he idolized his brother. Part of Sam welcomed it. Dean was his hero, he was always there for him. Dean was his brother but he also was his father, his mother… Dean was his everything. Another part of Sam repressed the feelings that had been awakened for Dean over the years.

* * *

Dean had returned from a hunt and he was telling Sam about the monster he had killed. Sam nodded without saying a single word, his eyes locked on Dean's body being undressed in a way that Sam found sexy. Yes, that was the word. Sexy. And he realized that he had a thing for Dean's naked body. “Okay, I'm gonna take a shower.” Sam licked his lips and nodded at his brother. “Take your time...” 

Dean closed the door behind him and Sam laid down on his bed. He shut his eyes and let a shy hand smooth over his torso. He sighed at the sensation from his touch and shivered when he got close to his groin. He bit his bottom lip and grabbed his manhood, stroking slowly as he thought about Dean. He tried to recall the image of his brother naked in front of him with his eyes painfully shut. He felt his sweat becoming sticky on his back, the fabric of the t-shirt clinging to his skin. He didn't care. The feeling of his hand gliding along his cock felt too damn good. He was heavily breathing when he hit his climax. That was the first time he masturbated thinking about Dean, and he thought it would be the last one. It had felt good, really good but at the same time, it had felt so bad…

* * *

“You show that to dad yet?” Sam swore Dean has asked him this a thousand times since he received his admission to Stanford. “No,” His answer was the same every time. He wasn't afraid of his dad, he respected the man, but John and he were like two sides of a coin. “But I'm gonna tell 'im”. Dean, who was sitting on the bed, looked at his brother quizzically. “Tonight I'm gonna tell dad that I'm going to Stanford.” Dean scoffed. “Are you sure about that?” Sam looked at his big brother. There were a lot of things he wanted to tell Dean before leaving. “Yes.” 

Dean realized that Sam seemed to be sad. He stood and held out his hand. Sam frowned but took it. When he did it, Dean turned Sam's body and made his chest to hit the floor painfully. He sat over the taller's back and took his arms behind his back so Sam wouldn't able to escape. “You'll do it only if you can beat me, Sammy”, Dean whispered in Sam's ear. Sam shivered but then he used his legs in an attempt to push himself upward. It was times like this that he was thankful for his height advantage. Dean fell on the floor, and Sam maneuvered himself so he was straddling his lap, his wrists pinned above his head. Dean wasn't going to lose and he didn't know, but Sam didn’t want to lose either.

They were fighting for what seemed to be several minutes until their bodies were barely separated and their breath was hitting hard on each other's skin. “It's Sam”, the younger said looking at Dean directly in the eyes, panting and sweating. “Wow, what have we got here? 'Little Sammy' don't wanna go?”, Dean smirked at Sam and when the younger Winchester realized what his brother was looking at, he tried to escape from his grip. 

“Get off me”, Sam commanded, but Dean had no intention of letting his little brother go. Dean shushed him and rested his forehead on his. His eyes were shut and Dean concentrated at that moment. Sam, on the other hand, was nervous. That closeness with Dean was dangerous but so intimate that it hurt and it made Sam's decision stronger than before. “Dean… Please.” The older brother opened his eyes and cupped Sam's face with both hands. “I don't want you to go, Sammy.” Sam shook his head trying desperately to hold back tears. “Please… I'm begging you. I- I can't-” Sam couldn't say exactly what was going on inside his head, what the reason behind running away to Stanford really was. He couldn't. Saying that to Dean would mean losing him. 

“Shut up, Sam. Just shut up.” Dean leaned slowly, kissing Sam’s lips. At first, Sam was surprised but as soon as he got used to it, he went with the flow. He tilted his head and grabbed Dean's face fiercely who smiled in the middle of the kiss. “Whoa, whoa… Take it easy, tiger.” Sam was drowning in happiness, the love he had for Dean was overwhelming. He tentatively rested his hands on his brother’s sides, his hands touching Dean everywhere. Sam knew every inch of Dean's body but he wanted his hands to know him too. His eyes were watery and he broke in a sob. Dean was too perfect that he couldn't handle it. He wanted to say so many things, but the words wouldn’t come. Dean touched his lips softly. “I know. I know, Sammy.” 

Dean was careful, he was sweet and Sam felt he could break apart at any minute because of all the love Dean was giving to him. He kissed Sam's lips, Sam's closed eyes, Sam's arms, Sam's hands… Everything of Sam belonged to Dean. “This is the last time I'll fall in love. Please, take me with you, Sammy. Please, I'm begging you.” Dean's words inside Sam's ears were the most beautiful thing someone could ever say to him. Even though Dean sounded pained they were still so painful to hear in that particular moment. Sam would be able to hear the voice of his brother forever. “Please, be mine, Dean. 'Till the end, please, be mine.” 

Sam barely talked. He was confused, he was about to leave and just because of that, Dean was loving him. Could Sam leave after that? He had decided to go to Stanford because he can't handle be around Dean anymore and feel this unrequited love. But that wasn't an obstacle anymore. Dean loved him. He heard it, he was feeling it. But Sam knew that Dean would never be against his father. Sam knew that if things went sideways, Dean wasn't going to protect him from their father. That's why Sam wrapped Dean inside his arms the moment he knew his climax was there. He wanted to feel everything, for the first and the very last time. 

* * *

“You walked out that door, don't bother coming back”, John said that night. He barely looked at Sam. In fact, he didn't bother to look at Sam at all. It was like he couldn't do it. Dean was in the middle, as always, trying to calm both of them. Sam grabbed his bag and left the house. “Go after him. He needs you.” 

Dean never asked John about the hidden meaning behind those words, if there was any. Could it be possible that he knew something about what happened the night before that? Dean would certainly deny it everything. John wasn't at home when Sam and he had sex, and they didn’t have any neighbors around that could say something to him. John wasn't a very talkative neighbor either. 

“Sam! Wait!”, Dean called to his younger brother running to chasing him. “Don't try to talk me into coming back, Dean.” Dean could see the determination in Sam's eyes. The reflection of the moon making them appear light blue. “Sam, you just don't understand-” Sam cut him off. “I don't? Don't you see how he treats me? I'm sorry I'm not you, Dean.” That was harsh. Dean immediately looked hurt and Sam realized too late that he had said too much.

“I can't leave dad alone, Sam… He needs us.” Sam heard the despair in Dean's words. He wanted to take Dean with him, disappear and forget about how they lived up until the night they said they loved each other, but he also knew that Dean would never leave John. “Yeah. You go on thinking that.” Sam hated his father because he had screwed up his life and Dean's, but he understood the devotion that his brother felt for the man who had raised them. He also knew that he couldn't forgive himself if he left his father alone. Sam didn't look back. He kept walking towards his future and left behind the person who he loved more than anyone.“Later, Dean.” A single tear slipped down Dean’s cheek as he watched his brother go. “Later…” 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading :)


End file.
